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So How Are You Really?

Updated: Jun 4, 2023

Hi Friend! I am going to write this letter as if you and I are on a coffee date or beach walk! Let’s go!

As all coffee dates usually start with, “How are you?!” and we reply eagerly, without hesitation, “Good!!! How are you?” … I want to pause there.

Truly- how are YOU? What has been bringing you Joy lately? What is weighing you down? Are you in a cheerful season, or are you in a weary season? Are you rejoicing? Are you praying fervently for a miracle or change in circumstances? Are you battling fear or anxiety? Are you paralyzed by the unknown the future may hold?

So let me ask you again- where all answers are welcomed—How are you?

I begin with those questions because they hold true weight with our identity… In order to answer the question – how are you- don’t I have to know who I am? How often do we check in with our identity? What do we allow to mark our identity? Is it our career, family, sorority, college, relationship status, body image, social media following… the list goes on and on. Our culture throws a million obstacles at us every day to create a battle in our mind of 'who am I actually?', or 'who do I want to be?'

Can I propose a different question—instead of the question being Who are you/Who am I… what if it wasn’t that. What if it was actually – Whose am I? Who do I belong to?

I am quite passionate about girls of all ages knowing their worth, value, and identity. It wasn’t until I sat down to write this letter that I began to ask myself the same question. What would happen if we didn’t allow all of the fleeting things tell us who we are…? What would happen if we marked our identity in not who we are, what we do, where we come from, and rather say I am confident in my identity because I am the daughter of a King. That King is Jesus Christ, who calls me worthy, who knit me together in my mother’s womb, who planned all of my days before one of them began, who chose me, and who fully knows and fully loves me.

THAT IS OUR IDENTITY. The Cross is proof that when we put our identity in Him, it will never be shaken or never waiver. God did not accidentally create you—He is Sovereign. He fearfully and wonderfully made you ON purpose and WITH a purpose. Friend, can I encourage you to dive deep into this mysterious, beautiful, captivating love? You are His beloved. When we know and believe that to be true, that changes everything about everything. Why? Because when life takes its course and throws curve balls- such as- not getting into the college you wanted, breaking up with your high school boyfriend that you thought would be the “one”, friends betray you, or anything else that you did not see coming- can change parts of your life and it will look different, BUT IT WILL NOT CHANGE WHOSE YOU ARE! God has you in His perfect, Holy hands. He is a Good Dad, and He wants to love and nourish His children.

Are you still with me… Do we need to get another coffee or muffin? Let me ask you a few more questions in closing.

Who do you allow to tell you who you are? Truly, think about it, answer it.

And whatever your answer is, is that subject to change?

We can walk most confidently in our God given purpose when we know who we are and I think more importantly- WHOSE we are. How can we practically live this true identity out?

Find a friend, parent, or sibling who can hold you accountable to this Truth. Invite community into your circle to be a positive influence of your identity. We need sisters in Christ who will remind us of who God says we are in the midst of the storm, when we so desperately want to cling to our former way of thinking and giving authority to worldly things to tell us who we are. Remember, YOU were bought with a price, You are so Loved and Valued and seen Precious in the eyes of Jesus.

So, the next time someone asks you, “Who are you?” , you can answer with a precious confidence that you are a Daughter of the King, fearfully and wonderfully made, and your past, present, or future does not define you any longer- You are His and He is yours.

Will you pray with me?

Dear Jesus,

We love you so much. We thank you so much for the Gospel, that you endured the Cross to do what we could never do for ourselves. Thank you for the Cross, that we can place our trust and identity in it. Thank you for overcoming all of our fears and failures. Thank you for calling us your own, and with a purpose that is to know You intimately and love others wholly and fiercely. Jesus, when the world tests our confidence and we forget who we are, please remind us of WHOSE we are- Yours. You are a good, good Father. Thank you for your Word, that is our Truth, Light, and Love.



Your friend + sister in Christ,


Devotional Idea: Write how you really are to God, talk to Him about how you're doing. Invite Him into how life looks right now. Get rid of the shame or guilt you're struggling with knowing that shame and guilt are not from the Lord. Grace is. Instead of hiding things you've done that you think disqualify you as a follower of God, repent for those things and let His grace reside in you. Let His grace and a relationship with Him take shame and guilt's place.

Text @withlovex to 81010 to let us know how we can pray for you and cheer you on!

As always we would love to hear from you any thoughts, stories, or dreams! On your team and in YOUR corner! Love you friend!

Write to:

A Letter To You

139 Oaklawn Drive

DeFuniak Springs, FL 32435

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